Konggu: Experience losses of mother, relationship and business. Indomitable aromatherapist Kat Lai: adversity is not the end of the world
Kat, the aromatherapist, is an expert in healing wounded souls with fragrance. However, she would never predict that she could be the one who couldn’t stand the frustrations. In 2017, she lost her mother, broke up with her lover and her business was in a slump. All of these happened within thirteen months and made her suffer a collapse.
Defeated in career and love
Seriously affected by the expensive rent and the change of consumer behaviour, Kat was forced to close down a branch. It was 15 years old and Kat had paid painstaking effort to run it. She could still recall the first day of the rental, when the premises was totally ruined with no electricity at all. Kat, with the help of her friends and family, put lots of effort to rebuild it into a beautiful place.
And everything was gone. ‘It feels like your son is going to be independent from home. Everyone knows it is a right decision. But I just couldn’t let go.’ While Kat tried to recover from the failure, her boyfriend suddenly broke up with her.
Mother diagnosed cancer and passed away six weeks later
At the moment, Kat was still fine. She rationally knew that it might be good to go apart if he wasn’t the perfect one. She could still fix her emotion. But all in a sudden, her mother was diagnosed cancer and passed away in six weeks.
Nevertheless, Kat’s challenge was never ended. Just right after her mother’s death, another branch of her company was forced to close. That became the last straw that breaks the camel’s back. ‘When my mom was gone, my heart was torn apart, but I could still manage. When the stock of that closed branch was sent to my home, I just couldn’t control myself. I could do nothing but cry. That was so stunning. I mentally broke down for two weeks, couldn’t do anything.’
Having more than twenty years of experience in aromatherapy, Kat knows lots of theories in psychology. But she couldn’t help herself during that period. ‘I rationally knew I could get well soon because I have learnt the psychological mechanism. But my heart was broken then. I had to accept that status.’
Get back on the horse and contribute the society
After all the experience, Kat has convened a series of charity events for the people in needed, including cancer patients. ‘Although I am not a patient, I know the feeling of the helplessness they have. (The beneficiary NGO) has registered nurses, social workers and rehabilitated patients to help the patients. They rekindle the hope of the patients. When we have hope, we can go forward.’
People see unfortunate events as psychological trauma. Kat suggests that we should learn to transform the event into chance. For example, Kat see the downturn of her business as a moment to transform her company. ‘God arranged this. So I must thank for the chance and accept the challenge. The most important part is to transform myself. Would it be a temporary downturn or a tragedy that would never be recovered? Your choice could make a difference.’ Kat believes that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Write a book to spread the magic of happiness
Kat named her skill to transform as ‘The Magic of Happiness’. When her mother had just passed away, she decided to let as many people as possible to learn this skill. ‘I wish people could gain something after reading my book. I wish that happiness could spread like ripple effect. You make someone happy and in return one would make you happier. We can’t change the past, but we can change the future by changing our mind today.’
‘Those 13 months should come to a conclusion. Life is like being at the coastal. Waves come every moment and we have to struggle, and finally come back to the land in one piece.’ Let’s watch this episode of Konggu together and spend the coming six minutes to learn Kat’s Magic of Happiness.
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Konggu: Weekly project of the Oriental Daily, telling Hongkongers’ stories
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#aromatherapy #healingsoul #mentalsupport #bloodcancer #challenge #downturn #transform #attitude #magicofhappiness #charity
港故：年內生意失敗失戀再喪母 打不死香薰師：逆境不是黑洞 香薰治療師 Kat Lai
香薰治療師Kat善於用香味去處理人不同的情緒，過去二十多年安撫過不少受傷的心靈，但她大概也想不到，自己都會有情緒崩潰的一刻。她在前年起的13個月內，經歷事業、愛情和喪母三重打擊，令她一度陷入崩潰時刻。
事業愛情兩失意
說到事業打擊，就是自己兩間店舖因高昂租金及消費模式轉變而結業，其中一間Kat更是苦心經營了十五年。她還記得當初怎樣「心口得個勇字」將舖位租下，接手時沒有一幅牆是平坦的，連電也沒有，是Kat找家人和朋友幫忙裝修，花了十五年才一步步把基礎打好。
心血化為烏有令Kat心如刀割，「形同你要將你個仔了斷嘅心情一樣，係好沉重嘅決定嚟，你嘅理智會覺得係啱，但心入面會覺得好唔開心。」而在此情緒整頓期間，拍拖八年的男朋友亦跟她分手了。
母患癌六星期後去世
失戀對Kat而言打擊不算十分大，畢竟她覺得若對象不適合自己，分開也不是壞事。然而離開她的不只是前度，當時母親突然發病，經檢查後被證實患上血癌，醫生評估只餘三至六個月性命，但最後卻在六星期後去世。
Kat所面對的挑戰仍然有來，母親去世後，她另一間店舖也告結業，成為她情緒崩潰的最後一根稻草，「當最後一日啲貨送到我屋企，我係崩潰嘅，我淨係睇住啲嘢唔識執，淨係喊，呢個過程原來係好震撼，媽媽過身時都好傷心，但個震撼感唔會乏力到唔可以運作，就算係我咁正向，我都有差唔多兩個禮拜係咁。」
有二十多年香薰治療經驗的Kat，雖懂不少心理學理論，但在崩潰那刻卻也無能為力，「我知道我會好轉，因為我明白心理，但係流血我都會痛，我要接受我喺嗰個狀態。」
重新振作 回饋社會
經歷連番挫折，Kat發起了一系列慈善活動，以募捐幫助有需要的人，其中包括協助癌症患者，「雖然我唔係病人，但無助感都係一樣，嗰度(中心)會有註冊護士同社工，亦有啲癌症康復者喺度幫手，變咗有人問就有方向，尋覓燭光．燃點希望，有希望就可以繼續向前行。」
有人將經歷了不如意的事視作人生陰影，Kat則強調要懂得轉化，譬如視生意不順為轉型的契機，「上天既然安排咗，我唯有用感恩嘅心態去迎接挑戰，最重要係轉化，挑戰定係低谷呢？定係一個萬劫不復嘅黑洞呢？就係你自己選擇。」她深信自己有了經歷，才會變得更強。
寫書宣揚「開心法術」
Kat將這種心態喻為「開心法術」。在母親離世後，決定要將此寫成書，希望其他人也學懂這法術，「聽到我故仔後會有所得着，好似漣漪效應咁。你開心咗，身邊嘅人都開心。後悔無做到嘅嘢，或者想改變昨日係無可能，我哋只可以創造明天，就由今日嘅想法開始。」
「呢十三個月就係一個總結，人生喺呢個位置就係一個浪打過嚟咁，我就要接住佢，然後點樣喺浪爬返出嚟。」今集《港。故》用6分鐘，跟大家一起學習Kat的「開心法術」。
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《港。故》：東網每周專題習作，講故事、講香港人的故事。
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Kat Lai 