“esteem” for your psychological wellness


Parenting is not just nurturing a child to grow up. It is investing in the child
to influence their behavior and choices in the future. Kat Lai explains.

Parents aspire to give the best to their children. Have you ever thought that your companionship, love and care are the things that children need the most? According to psychological research, a baby is like a piece of sponge, and they will absorb what they see and what the parents give. Therefore, parents should not let their children spend the majority of their time glued on mobile phones. The advice from the father of psychology Sigmund Freud is that care of your baby from newborn to at least three years old is of utmost importance. This is because at this stage, the child’s personality will be established. It would be unfortunate if your kids turn out more like your helper and less like you. This, however, is not so far-fetched as babies will model after who they interact with the most during their first three years. I guess every parent wants their children to grow up and become successful with a bright future. Naturally, they hope that they will be prosperous and have a happy and productive life. I read a study about the thinking of “poor dad” and “rich dad”; earlier, and the study asserted that it was possible to identify if the kids will become poor or rich as early as before they were 3 years old. That’s why I always tell my clients and students that they should strive to give their babies all your attention in the first 3 years as that is such a critical time.
I have been doing hypnosis treatments for many patients for over 15 years. Some of my patients, who are even sixty to seventy years old, have their psychological problems stemming from their childhood. From this, we can see that what happened during childhood has a profound impact on the future development of an individual.

I have a patient who is a Filipino lady in her 60s who has serious insomnia. She had slept less than 4 hours every day for more than 60 years, and she even had leg pain in the middle of the night. She tried many tests but could not find the reason for her severe insomnia. When she came to me, we finally found the source of the problem.

When this lady was hypnotized, she saw a picture …… She was a baby, She was lying
alone in her dark room. Suddenly, she is woken up by a sharp pain in the leg. When she opened her eyes, she sees only the darkness around her. She cried and at this moment, a light entered into the room. It was her father who opened the door and when a father saw her daughter crying he would, of course, comfort her! That was the feeling she was
looking for all the time!

During the treatment, we found out that her parents were busy with their work and rarely spend time with her. Since she was a baby, she was already craving love from her parents. So when she was hugged by her father, it was such an amazing feeling. It is precise because of this craving that she finally found that the leg pain was due to the conditional reflection of her father’s love! She never thought that her insomnia was caused by the leg pain in her childhood. Fortunately, through hypnosis and she realized that she is no longer a child and after unlocking this she finally did have quality sleep until morning every day!

From the above cases, it can be seen that what happens in childhood will have a great impact on a person’s life. A good parent-child relationship can help balance the child’s body, mind, and soul. This consequently, will affect their whole life!

I watch TED Talks presentation where one speaker shared how she was raising her children. Her son who was having a birthday party was very excited about it and afterwards he asked when the next party will be. The mother said, “Let’s celebrate your
birthday next year!” The child did not have the concept of “next year” yet, and the mother said, “In the coming 365 days, we will do a good thing every day, after 365 days, you will have another party!”

Later, the mother opened a blog called https://www.365give.ca/ to share daily good deeds with children, such as helping someone’s grandma cross the road, picking up garbage on the beach, and so on. Unexpectedly, everyone around her appreciated her move, and a friend of the mom who is a teacher asked her if she could include “365 give” in the school’s curriculum. As a result, over 40 schools in Canada apply it as a teaching material!

As a parent, if you want your children to know that giving is more satisfying than
receiving, you can try “365 give” with your child. “START A DAILY GIVING HABIT TO BEHAPPIER every day”.

365give inspires people to create a better, happier you and a happier world by developing a daily giving habit — one person, one give, one day at a time.

Benefits for the kids
• Improves academic performance.
• Provides students with a sense of ownership in their education.
• Increases positive social behavior.
• Instills compassion and empathy.
• Encourages communication and collaboration.
• Develops lifelong critical thinking and problem-solving skills with solution-focused outcomes.
• Promotes a sense of Global Citizenship.
• Reduces bullying & violence.
• Decreases emotional stress and increases optimism.

Benefits for the families
• Inspires your children to become change makers.
• Encourages parental participation in their children’s leadership learning.
• Provides a common activity for family members.
• Generates a positive and active home environment.
• Assists children in creating positive environments outside of their homes.
• Helps families become active participants in their community.
• Involves simple activities that take just a few minutes that are appropriate for all ages.

When a kid can enjoy the process of giving, the more he gives the more motivation he gains and the child can develop a positive mindset. Imagine that when he is praised as a “good boy” for helping others, it will encourage him to give! In these social services with children, they will inevitably be rejected by other people. At this time, parents can tell their children that everyone has his own choice, others have the right to refuse help, and some of them may be persuaded and let you help them.

This is a very good process for the kids to learn and accept people’s choice and he/ she also has a choice to give. According to research, kids who are willing to help others have a higher chance of becoming a rich dad in the future as it is easier to get help from others at the same time.
As kids tend to easily make friends who have the same values, they will be surrounded by kid’s families also tend to be more willing to help. Consequently, they are more positive and happy.
When reading this article, do you feel like starting a “One good deed a day” with your children? In addition to participating in Social services, you can also try DIY aromatherapy handicrafts with your children and give them to family or friends or those in need, so that the people can feel the love from your family, with the scent of aroma and people can get love, positive energy, and strength from it!

  1. Massage oil for relaxation and sweet dreams.
    It is a very good activity for parenting when you massage your kids or let your kids massages you! Very nice experience of “Give and take”!
    •Sweet Almond Oil 10ml.
    •Lavender 3 drops.
    •Sweet orange 1 drop.
    •Marjoram 1 drop.
    Just mix the above materials
    Tip: If used for children or the elderly, the total amount of essential oil should be reduced to 2 drops with 10ml of base oil, such as 1 drop of lavender + 1 drop of marjoram.
  1. Essential oils that can help to refresh and focus (for diffuser)
    •Rosemary 2 drops.
    •Lemon 1 drop.
    •Eucalyptus 2 drops.
    Put 5-8 drops of essential oil in the diffuser and make the room full of aroma and love!
  2. DIY an aroma Gift card to send your love to others
    DIY an aroma Gift card with your child. Just put a few drops of essential oil on the card
    and write some message to them. When your friends open the card, they will smell the aroma coming out which will make them feel your care and love.

    Tip: To avoid leaving oil stains on the card, it is better to use light-colored essential oils
    such as lavender, rose geranium, and peppermint.

    In summary, the essential oil was extracted from plants that have different healing properties, which can help us focus, relax even promote happiness! It will be amazing if the parent can create or choose an aroma together with their kids, it will naturally be linked into the memory into the brain! Let’s create your “Family Aroma”, which represents love and happiness! No matter use it for massage, diffuser or create a little gift, it will create an amazing experience and it will become a beautiful family memory!
    If you want children to have a prosperous future physically and mentally, it is very important to cultivate in them from a young age to have a blessing heart, to be in the company with friends who are willing to give, and to be surrounded by the best natural aroma as well! I wish you all enjoy the world of aromatherapy and let’s aromatherapy lift you!

    Kat Lai has over 24 years experience as a serial entrepreneur, aromatherapy
    expert and early hypnotherapy technology promoter. She has established DK
    Aromatherapy since 1996. More recently, Kat has created and has launched an
    innovative aroma related patented products; namely: “Aroma Pod” .


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